Embodied Positive Psychology Summit at Kripalu Center

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“Love is when your name sounds safe coming out of someone’s mouth.”
~ anonymous child’s quote

I spent last week at the Embodied Positive Psychology Summit held at Kripalu Center in Stockbridge, MA. It was a smorgasbord of ideas, techniques, and stellar presenters. Connecting with friends I know and meeting new friends was a real boost to my positivity. My only regret was that I couldn’t go to every workshop — we were challenged by needing to decide as many workshops were happening at the same time.

I’m writing about this to whet your appetite and encourage you to plan to attend the next Summit a year from now. The topic on this Summit was Love within the framework of embodied positive psychology. I attended the one last year and have decided that it will be part of my schedule for every one. I’d love you to be there!

Note: this is my synopsis from my own notes & experience. Apologies if I wasn’t able to attend your workshop.

We began on opening night with Megan McDonough of Wholebeing Institute asking us to consider what we wished to gain, give, and grow into during our time at Kripalu and the Summit. We were asked to consider our own growth within a larger ecosystem of ‘we’. We looked at love as so much more than romantic love — how we love one another in micro-moments of connection that reaches beyond romance to our daily interactions.

Neal Mayerson spoke of VIA strengths and our personally unique imprint through our own strengths. One of his pearls that remains with me is that “Deep love requires BEING in order to be SEEN.” In other words, the importance of being ourselves.

Caroline Miller talked about grit and hard goals which both nurture and require resilience. She talked at length about how our children don’t take risks anymore and our educational system is, sadly, dumbing them down to a fearful degree.

Joan Borysenko inspired us with her wisdom on compassionate presence, empathy, humans as social animals, and how we require the shelter of one another in order to thrive.

For me, Lynda Wallace’s workshop on ‘Love and Work’ helped me clarify an idea I’ve been tossing around for a few years. I’m excited to see where my exploration and research lead.

Howard Martin, of the Heartmath Institute, reminded us of the critical juncture we, as humans, have reached where disruption is the new constant. From there he talked about heart coherence of positivity and our hearts natural intelligence.

On Thursday morning, Stephen Cope enlightened us about friendship and, even with its risk, is important. To know more, consider reading his newest book, ‘Soul Friends’.
I went to listen to Karen Whalen-Berry present her inspirational wisdom on intentions, goals, and working toward our ideal or best self. I appreciated her handouts which we could explore our own intentions and ideal self.

Later in the day, my own workshop on the impact of eye contact for deep connection and trust was an honor to present to so many open hearts, open minds, and open eyes.

Friday morning, Barbara Fredrickson spoke of positive emotions unlocking other-focused thinking or more ‘we’; less ‘me’. She then spoke of the upward spiral of Positivity Resonance and cardiac vagal tone. She reminded us of the importance of mindfulness and awe. Barbara Fredrickson ended with encouraging us to bring more positivity resonance into our lives by making a plan to do so.

Ending the Summit, Megan McDonough left us with a question, “What value do we take into the world?” She let us in on next years theme by reminding us to become leaders by aiming for our highest and our best.

I left feeling full, inspired, and plans to continue my own positivity resonance and creating micro-moments of love throughout my day.

(The Summit was book-ended with Masterclasses which I will write about in a future post)

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Practicing Gratitude with “The Little Book of Gratitude”

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Robert A. Emmons has a real winner in his book, “The Little Book of Gratitude.” I find this book a bright gem to carry with me anywhere, reminding me of the benefits of a gratitude practice and a wealth of activities for expanding my daily gratitude practice.

Emmons research has shown that gratitude, among many other strengths, is the best indicator of emotional well-being and strong relationships. He says, “It (gratitude) is also the truest approach to life.” In this little book, Emmons reminds us that gratitude is a valuable life orientation. Research shows we more easily notice the negative because we are wired for negativity as a survival mechanism. Through daily practice we can reorient our focus to what is good, what is going well, and all that exists in our days to give thanks for. When we do this we experience better health, increased well-being, and live with more contentment and inner peace.

“The Little Book of Gratitude” is filled with research, wisdom, activities, and even the myths surrounding gratitude. Many of the activities I have practiced for years and I have learned even more by reading this little book. Yes, it is little and can easily fit into a purse, backpack, or bag.

My favorite reminder for gratitude, as a life practice, is Emmons, ‘The 3 Stones of Gratitude’. What are the 3 stones? 1. Look for the good. 2. Receive the good. 3. Give back the good. I have my three stones on my altar and, often, in a pocket as I go about my day.

I highly recommend this book to learn about gratitude and develop a regular practice of gratitude so that you, too, can experience both the health and happiness benefits of giving thanks.

The Value of Massage

I was recently asked the value of massage? I am a massage therapist, massage instructor, and have received massage regularly for most of my adult life, yet, I found myself pausing before answering the question. I have been participating in the massage world for so long, I take its value for granted and give it little thought beyond scheduling my own massage or preparing to give a massage to a client.

My first answer to her question is that massage is an essential part of my self-care routine along with exercise, good food, rest, yoga, and meditation. I get massage regularly — once a week when I can and, at the very least, twice a month — because I can’t imagine my life without it. Massage, both giving and receiving, has been a valuable part of my own healing from childhood trauma. Massage helps me relax when I can’t on my own or simply want the support to relax. Massage is therapeutic when I’ve been injured or have overworked muscles from exercise or work (and too much snow shoveling) – it facilitates my own healing and balancing. Massage also allows my mind to relax as I get to receive care from someone else’s experienced touch.

I am an advocate for regular massage whether once a week or several times a year. Massage balances our nervous system by boosting our parasympathetic nervous system responsible for the relaxation response as well as decreasing inflammation, lowering heart disease, and increasing heart rate variability (an important marker for overall health). Massage also lowers blood pressure, aids in creating a quiet mind, encourages our immune systems to work better, inspires our body’s healing systems, and improves circulation. Massage helps facilitate healing from stress, overexertion, injury, and emotional upset. Massage also facilitates the release of Oxytocin, the calm-and-connect, feel good neuropeptide I spoke about in my last blog post.

Massage is safe touch so I don’t need to worry about unsavory or unwanted touch. I know I can talk with my massage therapist if her touch is too firm or too light. When I work with clients, I encourage them to let me know if my strokes are painful or too light. I tell them that they live in their bodies, I don’t. So communication along the way is essential for me to do my best to serve their needs.

[Note: I do know there are those uncommon & unfortunate scenario’s where massage therapists overstep safe touch boundaries. Unfortunately, those are the folks who give massage a ‘bad’ name.]

Massage is self-care, which I encourage all my clients and/or students to include in their health protocols. I am grateful I learned the value of self-care early in my adult life as everything I do for myself, my health, and happiness allows me to be more fully present in my work and enjoy a full, healthy, and active life.

If you have never tried massage, go and schedule one today. If massage doesn’t appeal to you, consider acupuncture, acupressure, shiatsu, or acutonics as part of your self-care. You owe it to yourself.

Carving a Path to Health through Chemical Boosts

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Did you know that your body has a host of chemicals accessible to you for boosting both your health and happiness? As a health practitioner, I find this fascinating and exciting. I get to see my clients with a different perspective — which chemicals are they a bit short on that could be a player in their compromised health?

These chemicals — Serotonin, Oxytocin, Dopamine, and Endorphins — when released, provide you with opportunities to feel healthier and happier. In fact, you can turn them on for a boost by doing simple and fun exercises/activities throughout your day.

By learning about these naturally existing chemicals and how they detract or enhance our health, we can look for those things we can do to help them be released. These chemicals get released in short bursts and don’t tend to last. We can increase the frequency of their presence with new habits. We can create micro-moments of chemical boosts. Micro-moments add up over time to improved over-all health and positivity.

Here is a quick overview of our inner chemistry — the four major players for health and happiness. (Note: there are many chemical processes in our body happening all the time, these are the major players).

1. Dopamine: For most of us, when we are low in dopamine, we experience self- doubt and tend to procrastinate. When we have enough dopamine circulating we feel motivated. One of the easiest ways to boost our dopamine is to take our large goals and chunk them down to smaller goals. Each time we accomplish one of our smaller goals, consciously celebrate your work. Celebrations can be simple — no need for a party with all of your friends (unless you want to). I like to celebrate by going to my favorite bookstore or cafe for my favorite coffee or tea. I return with more motivation to go onto my next goal.
2. Oxytocin: Too little of this neuropeptide and we experience mistrust or separation. We can boost oxytocin through holding hands, hugging, touch (massage anyone?), and, my favorite, eye contact. Each day we can boost our oxytocin in simple ways that connect us to others leading to a calm and connect state of mind.
3. Serotonin: When we lack serotonin, we feel depression and/or loneliness. The easiest way to boost serotonin is to practice heartfelt gratitude. End your day with listing 3 – 5 things you are grateful for from your day. You will feel better and improve your sleep as well.
4. Endorphins: Most associated with the second wind that athletes experience. When we lack endorphins, we feel pain and increased stress. Exercise is one way to increase endorphins. Another way is a good laugh (a full belly laugh) or even a good cry. If the weather prevents me from getting out into nature (my favorite endorphin release), I keep a stack of movies that always bring on my laughter or my tears.

I hope you find this useful and will plan for daily boosts of one or more of your naturally occurring chemicals for health and happiness. Let me know how it works for you!

Let’s Talk About Health & Sanity

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A Nature Valentine

Wow! For the first time since the internet arrived in my home — dial-up at first and now a cell tower box that has its own phone number — I’ve run out of available data ten days early! I had to purchase another GB so I can have limited access from home. I am determined to make that one GB last!

More importantly, running out of data days before the next round begins is an indicator of where my mind has been since the inauguration in January. Unfortunately, I have not been celebrating. I have been obsessed with following the whirlwind of news surrounding our frightening political climate. I have been obsessed with wondering what list of new changes will greet me each day that inspire my concern, fear, and anger.

Running out of data while the second snowstorm blankets my weekend has been a wake-up call. No wonder I have been restlessly sleeping, eating less than healthy foods, and ignoring my body’s cries for movement (other than snow shoveling). I’ve also allowed my meditations and writing time to wind down to minutes a day instead of much longer. I understand why I don’t feel myself — my stomach has been in knots, my mind’s been racing with fear and negativity, and my generally zestful energy level has been waning into a state of ‘tired is normal’.

Now, I do believe we are in a time of crisis where being informed is essential and what is daily coming from the White House each day is anything but normal. I also believe that my own health and well-being are also essential so that I can continue to make my daily phone calls, write letters to government officials, take action when & where possible, as well as participate in local action groups. I refuse to give over my health and sanity to a political climate I don’t agree with.

Running out of data? I am grateful for I was called back to myself and what is important for me to maintain my health and sanity. I spent the last three days reading, being outdoors, meditating, writing, and photographing the beauty around me in nature. Because I took a media, internet, and news break, I got to see a fox in my front yard one evening, finish a knitting project, do my yoga in a relaxed and healing way, dust off my kettle bell, and actually enjoyed the snow falling (at least until I had to get out and clear it). Clearly I have not been a beacon for all the positive psychology I have been studying and practicing for years!

This morning as I went to work I felt refreshed and sane. I was more present with myself and with my clients in a way I hadn’t experienced for several weeks. Before leaving work (where I do have wifi access), I briefly checked my email and looked at the headlines. When I closed my computer, I didn’t feel the concern and overwhelm I’d been living (obsessively).

I am committed to continuing to take breaks from the internet, social media, and the news. Time to renew and refresh is so important at this time. If we are to resist and stand up for our rights that are threatened every day, we must be strong and aware of our need to regroup when our health wanes. The news will still be there with right action to take. Let’s not give over our own health and well-being to these people.

Marching Into History

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“Never depend upon institutions or government to solve any problem. All social movements are founded by, guided by, motivated and seen through by the passion of individuals.”
~ Margaret Mead

Yesterday, history was made with women marching & gathering all over the globe to stand in solidarity for human rights, women’s rights, and to stand against derogatory statements made during the election campaign which too many have taken as permission for unacceptable behavior. The energy was palpable at the gathering I attended. I looked around and witnessed generations standing together which reminded me of my own daughter and grandchildren who were held dear in my heart. Also palpable was the common thread to hundreds of other marches both in our country and around the world. I also felt the presence of millions of women who could not be there in person but were cheering on the sidelines from their homes and work places.

I went to stand up for women’s rights that are threatened, to stand up against violence, to stand for equality for all, and to stand for peaceful action over hatred. When I arrived I knew I had made the right decision. What I saw were women, men, and children. Many wore their pink hats that were made as a statement of intention for the march, others carried signs expressing their sentiment, some wore “nasty woman” t-shirts and there was a sense of peaceful intention about the gathering.

Once the group energy coalesced as a sister march for human rights we all felt connected energetically to marches & gatherings everywhere, there was a common sense of purpose — to make a clear statement that we are the people who will not be easily abused, threatened, violated, or disrespected for our gender, our sexuality, the color of our skin, how we worship or from where we’ve immigrated. We walked and gathered in determined peace in order to be heard and seen.

What inspired me was that the marches were began by an idea that one woman had after the election. I am convinced that even one person can, indeed, institute change and mobilization. Looking at photo’s of marches in every large city in the US and cities around the world make me smile with pride. I do believe we made a statement in a very positive way.

Positive psychology focuses on living life with meaning and purpose as well as focusing on what is good and what is working in our lives. A foundational tenant that Chris Peterson spoke of in reference to positive psychology is that “other people matter.” I was marching because I do believe all people matter and deserve a life of meaning and purpose that embraces our diversity and our differences. Whether in DC, Boston, San Francisco, London, Australia, or the smallest of communities, we were there together making our voices heard. I was filled with a sense that I am not alone in my concerns that seem to loom so darkly on the horizon.

I woke this morning noticing that the heaviness I have felt since November had been lifted. I am grateful, more open, and ready to participate in the work that must continue. Complacency is not an option in my mind. Real and lasting change involves action. I am reminded of what Michael Moore encouraged us all to do — make calls every day to our representatives to stand for positive change. A phone call takes minutes yet can be the action we take to carry forward the change we need at this time (202-225-3121) and encourage our representatives to make good and right choices that uphold our Constitution (we the people, for the people) as well as our Bill of Rights.

Finally, I am grateful to my sister after an overdue conversation this afternoon. We generally stand on either side of the political divide. Today we sat down to talk about our views, our concerns, and our hopes. We allowed our love for one another and our willingness to ‘agree to disagree’ to bridge our differences when it comes to politics. We took the time to empathically listen to one another. What we learned is that we want the same things for each other, for those we love, for ourselves, and for our country. Even though we voted differently, I felt the divide narrow into remembering our love for one another.

I want more of these conversations so that the divide in our country can be bridged. I want to listen more to those who disagree with my point of view or my choices. I do believe we want the same when it comes to those we love. Empathy and the willingness to take the time to truly listen is what is needed most as we move forward.

Reflections, Foundations, and Intentions

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Here we are, days before this year ends and another begins. What do you do to prepare for the next year? Do you prepare? I do!

Reflecting… What’s been done? Who have I been?

I begin preparing by reflecting on the last twelve months. My journal pages fill as I ask, “What have I accomplished and completed this year?” and “Who have I been?” I write for days and one thought leads into the next as my list grows. You see, when I begin, I often think that very little has actually been accomplished. Every day is busy and full. I find it is easy to forget once I’ve finished a project or accomplished a goal and I am already onto the next adventure. Allowing myself time to reflect is like looking at a photograph or into the woods. At first, I look at the whole scene, take in its feeling without the details. The longer I look more and more details emerge that I hadn’t seen on the first look. Nuances of color, wildlife pausing in camouflage, a bird perched on a branch watching me, a fallen tree that I didn’t see in the initial looking. There is always more to see as my focus changes and deepens. The details are both in the scene and in me, my own inner landscape in response to the outer landscape.

Reflecting back over my year requires that I take time to allow details to emerge — those details I’ve forgotten. Looking at the whole I can see and feel an experience (even the sense of non-accomplishment). My initial list is simple — drawn from the whole. As I stay with the list and begin to focus on parts (month by month or day by day) details emerge and I remember — listing the details. After a week my list has grown and I am both surprised and happy that I’ve done so much. I am grateful that most of my intentions, written a year ago, have been fulfilled. And there were many pleasant surprises as well. I always love the adventures I didn’t count on yet were an outgrowth of my intentions.

A New List Builds from The Last List…

From the list of the last year, a new list begins to form. I have a new question, “What is in me that wants expressing this next year?” My new years list has begun with events already planned — workshops, writing, travel, etc.

Another question I ask is, “Who do I want to be this next year?” These are my inner intentions — equally important for these create the environment for many surprises. For example, I wish to be even more of my Best Self this coming year — appreciative, curious, open to new possibilities, and living more fully into the spirit of giving and loving.

Long ago, I dispensed with resolutions — those actions inspired by what I haven’t done. You know them — join the gym, eat better, write that book, finish that list of projects, etc. These nearly always end in the trash bin of unfulfilled hopes that I can later use to berate myself. Resolutions don’t grow from my Best Self. They grow from thoughts of not being good enough. Not good enough isn’t a firm foundation for growth, success, or surprise.

Foundation of What Worked…

What provides a firm grounding for awe, curiosity, and positive growth come from my Best Self. For example, one of last years intentions was to remember what I deeply love about yoga, hiking, and the sweet surprises that I am grateful for every day. Looking back, I did remember what I love which led me to more varied hiking, appreciating the yoga retreat I just went on (that I hadn’t planned for) and every day was full of moments of gratitude. Looking back and reflecting, I am in awe of all I’ve done and experienced in 2016. This is my foundation built on what worked.

Carrying Forward & Intentions…

Beginning with 2017, my foundation is being my Best Self, allowing nature to be my mentor for living in trust and giving, and honoring community whether near or far. I’ve ended 2016 with a new appreciation of the importance of community. I intend to carry that forward in 2017. I’ve remembered and learned that all my relationships need nurturing just as my gardens need tending in order to assist in the best harvest possible. Some practices I will continue — gratitude, living from my strengths, my yoga, my daily writing practice, and my journeys into nature. These form my firm foundation for the next cycle of intentions. Some intentions already forming are taking action over inaction, allowing room for my voice to inform my actions. I’ve learned that action creates momentum and upward movement while inaction creates stagnation and downward motion. I like the upward spiral into positivity even if inaction is sometimes the familiar and easy way ‘out’. Action always leads me somewhere — adventure, new community, resilience, and fresh perspectives.

An Invitation…

I invite you to reflect and plan for your next year. Begin with listing what was done last year as a foundation for the coming year. Write them down (if writing works for you), share them with someone you trust, create a work of art expression, and then appreciate all you’ve done.

Here are some questions to help frame your intentions and planning:

1. What did you accomplish, complete, learn, and experience in 2016?
2. Who were you?
3. What will you carry forward and upward in 2017?
4. What is already in motion or planned for 2017?
5. Who do you wish to be this next year?
6. What strengths and qualities of your Best Self will you cultivate and nurture?
7. What intentions will begin 2017 for you? Consider both specific plans and broader experiences in your intentions — leave room for surprises and opportunities yet to be discovered.
8. If resolutions work for you, write them as well.

As we prepare to say good-bye to 2016, let’s go forward into the next year open to sweet surprises and fulfilled intentions in the most positive way.

Happy New Year – may it be filled with peace in your heart!

Inspired by a Holly Tree

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There is a park I stop at every time I go to Cape May, New Jersey. This park is very close to my destination and is my last opportunity to let my dog have a walk before our arrival. It is the only park that is not connected to a food and gas rest stop. I have walked around this picnic area park every month for the past few years and, only recently, did I notice a holly tree surrounded with a small fence and a sign telling the story of the tree.

On reading the sign, I learned that the Holly Tree is over three hundred years old and is now surrounded by a grove of many younger holly trees. This particular holly tree was on the original landowners property before the Garden State Parkway was constructed. What I find most interesting is that, rather than cut down the tree which is too often the way, the people who bought the property for the Garden State Parkway decided to honor this tree that has grown there for so many years and reroute construction around the tree and create a picnic area for travelers to enjoy!

Each time I stop at that picnic area, I stop to see and honor that tree. I am in awe that one tree was the reason the Parkway was constructed with a picnic area in the middle of almost nowhere and without a food court or gas station! That holly tree and all it’s surrounding offspring continue to grow, are cared for by someone, and provide an area to enjoy nature as the traffic continues on. I wonder how many people who travel the parkway are aware that this park exists because of a tree that has survived over three hundred years? I wonder what history has surrounded this tree in those many years — who were the people who originally enjoyed the shade of that tree?

Of course, this has raised another, more current question for me. If one tree has been preserved and a major highway rerouted around it can happen, why can’t the pipeline contractors at Standing Rock find another route for their pipeline in order to honor and preserve the history of our country and it’s indigenous people and their sacred lands? Those lands have been sacred land for far longer than three hundred years. Have we not taken enough from our indigenous people?

It saddens me to realize that this holly tree preservation is such a rare happening. What would it take to reroute other plans in order to preserve our history, our environment, and honor the people who live on that land?

I am inspired by the ancient holly tree that continues to stand because someone decided to honor its existence and find a way to keep it standing. I want to be inspired by the goodness in people everywhere to find ways to respect one another, be kind to one another, and care for our history — its people and the land.

Working With Worry

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I am a worrier. Yes, I can be a serious hand-wringer when something happens and uncertainty ensues or unexpected change is in the works. I consider myself an expert at worrying. I have often thought if there were a way to advertise, “Let me worry for you”, I would be a millionaire twice over! I am good at imagining the worst-case scenarios just to be sure my worry is worthwhile. I used to think that considering the worst that could happen was somehow preparing me for what was coming and if I could live with the worst, then all would be okay.

I was also taught that “God never gives us more than we can handle.” On some deep level, I think I still believe that along with flushing out worst-case scenarios even though both leave too much room for worry…

I am in a worry session now which has had me struggling about how to write a positive blog post (honestly, my blog is called ‘Happy, Healthy, and The Prepared Mind,’ implying positivity). My truth right now is worry over happy… I have numerous tools to use that could ease my angst and I find my mind a blank slate for even one practice that could pull me in an upward trajectory. Meditation, positivity practices like gratitude or kindness, even permission to be human (all my go to practices) aren’t helping. My other practices that usually work — yoga and nature walks — seem only to open space for more worry.

Ever have one of those days? or a string of those days? I hear myself asking, “What can I do?” or “What’s a solution?” And then I continue worrying because I have no immediate or helpful answer, no immediate (or positive) solutions.

Even in this current state I continue my routine practices and hope that my mind will move to calmness when ready. During my meditations my mind often finds calm from worry and clarity arrives if only in a momentary glimpse. I continue to hope.

Then, I arise from meditation with the question, “What can I do?” Answer: What I always do. Take action. Immediate action.

For today, I picked up my knitting as my action to keep my hands and mind busy. Do I need another scarf, pillow, or blanket? It doesn’t really matter — just knit. I knit or, more accurately, I create. Keeping my hands, mind, and body busy with creative action always helps me focus. I need action that is engaging to my senses — creating something does just that, engages more of my senses, provides a sense of purpose (even if for a brief while), and I appreciate the respite from my worry.

As I settle into knitting my shoulders relax as my hands are busy with the process of knit/purl, my mind is engaged with counting stitches to track my design, my senses are further engaged with the steady sound of the knitting needles, and I am taking action, moving forward.

Is this action toward a solution to my worry? Yes and no. There is not a direct solution to the topic of my worry, however, there is forward motion engaging in something I love to do. I hear my mind repeating my personal mantra adapted from Dory in “Finding Nemo”, ‘just keep knitting, just keep knitting.’ I continue to be absorbed in the task of knit and purl and, as I do, I notice a gradual redirect from my angst and fresh ideas begin to pop into my thoughts between stitches.

Staying with it, my mind and body move into a flow state where there is only the action at hand while all else fades into the background. Much research on flow has been done by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi where he presents the importance of flow states for wellbeing and a sense of purpose. Once I emerge from my flow states, I feel calmer, full of ideas, and I am aware of more space in and around me. This open space allows more positivity, relief, and room to explore solutions to the topic of my worry. I feel a glimmer of upward motion and a deep breath into the space that is so much more than my angst.

Action that leads me into a flow state is my recipe for changing my trajectory to a more positive and meaningful direction. Some people clean, organize, and throw things away as their focus action. I know many who create something, anything. Through action, any focused creation, appropriate action and solutions can present themselves. I trust that.

Being human means navigating change, unexpected as well as planned change. For me, worry has been and continues to be my default setting. What’s yours? Worry, though oh so familiar, always circles the drain downward. Taking action helps me spiral upward into a more resourceful state where solutions reside.

I do give space to my worry, angst, fear, and anger. I try to embrace the feelings that are painfully present. In other words, I give myself space to allow the feelings to be as they are without trying to make them go away. I also set a time limit on my wallowing or ruminating time so I don’t get sucked into too much darkness and despair.

Mindfulness is another practice in positive psychology as well as in many spiritual practices. Ellen Langer, a leading positive psychologist, refers to mindfulness as being actively aware. Through mindfulness I learn about myself so that I can change if and when necessary. Being mindful of my worry, listening to my minds story about a situation, and drawing on past practices of what I know works to change direction or course, I can begin to return to my upward spiral.

After my allotted two days of commendable worrying (I do give 110% to that time) and action through knitting (and some cleaning), I woke this morning with renewed energy. The world is more colorful again and a song is in my heart and mind. I am grateful for my worry, for my action, flow states, mindfulness, and trust in my process.

On a final note, taking action doesn’t necessarily mean action related to the topic of concern. My actions were focused in three tracks: 1. knitting to enter my flow state; 2. cleaning and accomplishing three things at home to clear space; and 3. wrote in my journal by telling the story that held me in angst in as much detail as possible. After several writing sessions listening to the running inner dialogue, I began a more meaningful conversation with myself, began a more positive story, and discovered solutions in a hopeful direction. All these actions quelled my concerns and helped me refocus on what is positive.

I am, once again, grateful to be on an upward spiral of goodness, positivity, and meaning.img_1437

Positive Action in Challenging Times

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“You go on by doing the best you can. You go on by being generous. You go on by being true. You go on by offering comfort to others who can’t go on. You go on by allowing the unbearable days to pass and by allowing the pleasure other days. You go on by finding a channel for your love and another for your rage.”                   ~ Cheryl Strayed

Presidential election weeks tend to be challenging — on one side are the ‘winners’ while on another side are the ‘losers’. In this election, there is a wider divide than in any previous elections I’ve lived through. By now, in most elections, the dust settles and we get on with our daily lives. This time, however, the campaigning was filled with too many words of hatred, racism, and disrespect of women — words that cannot be unsaid. This time, the dust is not settling and there is much fear and separation and determination.

I have had to turn away from the news and social media in order to find my way back to my personal calm center. Writing and processing in my journal and being outdoors in nature are the two ways I find the most solace and can relax. This time, I feel the need for more time to heal and to consider what will be next. This time I am ready to roll up my sleeves and stand up for what I believe in.

It has helped for me to gain clarity around what I believe so that I might take positive action in each moment.

Here is what I believe:

  1. I believe we all, essentially, want the same things for ourselves, our families, our communities, and our nation. I am discouraged that because of words spoken (even shouted), it seems the hatred, racism, and disrespect has won.
  2. I believe that our system of the electoral college and voting needs to change. The results of the electoral college and the popular votes do not agree. I wish the system would change and be updated. The electoral college is an outdated system that was designed at a time when slavery and women were unable to vote and information travelled slowly. The idea, for the time, was good as it created a balance of voting in areas where the majority of people were not allowed to vote. I do believe it is time to change the system to be one vote for everyone — which counts. In that way, there is no guessing. The popular vote wins and everyone who votes matters.
  3. I believe we all want a government that works for the people, all the people. We are a nation built on diversity. Not too long ago, we all came from immigrant roots. Our Declaration of Independence states, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.” In other words, everyone is created equal and has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It also means that the government is designed to be by the people and for the people.
  4. I believe it is time to deeply listen to one another in order to get to the deeper story of what we all want for ourselves, our families, our communities, and our country. Through listening — lovingly and empathically — we can find our common ground and discover our way forward.
  5. I believe we must begin to ask different questions, ones that focus on moving forward. More useful questions would be, Who am I now, even in this? What positive actions can I take to be sure that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are available for everyone?
  6. I also believe that we all have a choice in every moment. Positive Psychology encourages us to make choices from strength and in alignment with our values.
  7. I choose to stand up and focus on positive action. I will wear my safety pin in solidarity and encourage others to do the same.
  8. I choose to listen to those with different viewpoints.
  9. I choose to focus on what I am grateful for in my daily life.
  10. I choose to stand strong for what I believe in and roll up my sleeves for positive action.
  11. I choose to let go of negativity and live in my values of love and peace.
  12. I choose to stand strong with all women who deserve respect, who have a voice, and should not suffer from abuse, harassment, or assault.
  13. I choose to use my voice and my actions for the good I believe in.
  14. I choose to trust that what is right and good will prevail.
  15.  I choose to take positive action and to do the work that needs to be done to keep my family, my friends, and my community safe — all those who are of a different color, nationality, gays, and everyone who deserves a chance.
  16. I also choose to take time away from the news and social media so that I can continue to find my calm center.

I will continue to work for the good in everyone unless they prove otherwise, then I will take positive action. My hope is that you will do the same.